Impulse-Control

Not resisting impulses, drives, or enticements to do something harmful to themselves or others. Patients may or may not consciously try to resist the impulses, and they may or may not plan their behaviours. Patients sense increasing tension or arousal before they act; afterward, they experience feelings of pleasure, satisfaction, or freedom and may not feel sincere remorse, guilt or self-reproach.

So I was doing research on this subject because strangely enough I always seem to find myself in these kind of situations. The thing is I have come to realize that its difficult to accept that I appear to have no kind of self control, and the truth is that its actually very personal because most normal people dont react on impulses so much as I tend to do. I always try to blame people, the system and society, but I guess that for there to be a more harmonious way of living one must try and supress the impulses to actually physically hurt other people.

So here is one of the categories of Impulse-Control Disorders

Intermittent explosive disorder- episodes of agression resulting in harms to others.

This is the one that I think most affects me. One of the most common things that happen to me is that I litterally when am mad, or frustated with a person, especifically the male specimen, in an argument or in a moment of extreme dissapointment, etc. I tend to just freak out and slap the person in the face. I have actually been lucky enough to have never been slapped back but I guess I can be pretty scary when mad so most people just tend to let me be. In my life I have slapped a few guys in the face, punched a boyfriend in the face, vandalized cars and destroyed private property of old lovers. This is quite disturbing, no guy would ever want to date a girl that does things like these (not that I have done this to all, actually a minority but still...). Of course these things dont happen out of nothing, the men affected by my wrath are frankly kind of shitty and in a way deserved it, but the reality of the situation is that I am not the one to judge. So I dont feel bad for actually doing these things but I do wish I could have a better control of my impulses so that these kind of things dont happen really ever again.

These kind of actions are some of the reasons why people think im a little crazy, but in the end I must say that I dont consider myself a crazy person I just sometimes feel very passionately about some issues and express myself in that way. If you actually knew me you would find that im actually a good hearted person but I just dont deal that well with dissapointment and anger.